The election wasn’t about gender in the primaries. It IS about gender now.

(graphic language)

If the Trump Tape has you genuinely trying to evolve your thinking on gender issues in our country, I provide a few tips and tricks to get you started talking about your anger.

  • Respect me, don’t protect me: Don’t be upset because of your “wives and daughters.” Be upset because you want people to be decent and good (period). Be upset because of your ethics. Saying “I have a wife, I have a daughter…” still implies that women cannot protect themselves. Newsflash – they can.
  • Don’t dismiss this as “locker room talk” or “boys will be boys,” like Donald did initially. For those of us that have been impacted by sexual abuse, it breaks our heart to hear these words.
    1. I expect we discipline our boys if we ever witness this type of disrespectful language. I expect we try to figure out who is influencing these boys and discipline those men as well.
    2. Donald was nearly 60 years old when he made these comments. My goodness. My 20 yr. old nephew would never say this (private or not). He is wiser. He is a better man.
  • Trust women when they say Donald is not the only misogynist asshole. I get talked over in meetings / in personal conversations. I ask questions and the answers get directed to the men in the room. I am viewed by some as “less strategic” than my peers. I need to be twice as good / twice as sharp to “be in the room.” In the past two months I have heard the words “pussy” and “rape” in professional settings. As a rape victim, you can imagine the emotions that forces me to deal with while trying to work.
  • Let me be upset. This is a joke. I understand that some people do not agree with Hillary Clinton’s policies, but she is one of the most qualified candidates to be up for election (ever?). To compete, we expect women to be overly qualified compared to their male peers. To see her compete on the same stage as Trump is a case study that will be used in 200 years to talk about the psychological state of gender issues in this country.
  • That wasn’t an apology. I don’t know what that video was (by the way – I stayed awake for two hours to hear it), but he didn’t address the victim once. Or women. I think we should stop calling that an apology.

My heart goes out to Nancy O’Dell. My heart goes out to her for realizing that her line of work has made the issue of misogyny a daily problem. My heart breaks for her. I’m glad NBC didn’t fire Nancy for rejecting Trump. I hope they do fire Billy Bush for his role.

Finally – because I need to remember positive things, too.

  • To the many MANY men who are amazing role models and amazing people (both at work and at home): Keep on fighting for us. Keep speaking up. You are amazing. You help me keep fighting, too. I see you.
  • To the many MANY men and women in the republican party who have been battling with their nominee from the beginning: You give me faith that we can have a policy conversation in this country that is powerful, respectful, and that will lead to a better future. I see you.

And on to hating Iowa like Trump hates women… Ski-U-Mah!

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